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added more "dad" type jokes #156

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added more "dad" type jokes #156

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added more "dad" type jokes
wolfrayet0855 Oct 8, 2024
3a8ecde
updated format.
wolfrayet0855 Oct 25, 2024
b00a42d
deleted tmp.4020.json
wolfrayet0855 Oct 25, 2024
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367 changes: 346 additions & 21 deletions jokes/index.json
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Original file line number Diff line number Diff line change
Expand Up @@ -2065,39 +2065,39 @@
"punchline": "He kept calling it bytecoin and didn't get any."
},
{
"type": "programming",
"setup": "Why did the programmer go to art school?",
"punchline": "He wanted to learn how to code outside the box."
"type": "programming",
"setup": "Why did the programmer go to art school?",
"punchline": "He wanted to learn how to code outside the box."
},
{
"type": "programming",
"setup": "Why did the programmer's wife leave him?",
"punchline": "He didn't know how to commit."
"type": "programming",
"setup": "Why did the programmer's wife leave him?",
"punchline": "He didn't know how to commit."
},
{
"type": "programming",
"setup": "Why do programmers prefer dark chocolate?",
"punchline": "Because it's bitter like their code."
"type": "programming",
"setup": "Why do programmers prefer dark chocolate?",
"punchline": "Because it's bitter like their code."
},
{
"type": "programming",
"setup": "Why did the programmer go broke?",
"punchline": "He used up all his cache"
"type": "programming",
"setup": "Why did the programmer go broke?",
"punchline": "He used up all his cache"
},
{
"type": "programming",
"setup": "Why did the programmer always mix up Halloween and Christmas?",
"punchline": "Because Oct 31 equals Dec 25."
"type": "programming",
"setup": "Why did the programmer always mix up Halloween and Christmas?",
"punchline": "Because Oct 31 equals Dec 25."
},
{
"type": "programming",
"setup": "Why don't programmers like nature?",
"punchline": "There's too many bugs."
"type": "programming",
"setup": "Why don't programmers like nature?",
"punchline": "There's too many bugs."
},
{
"type": "programming",
"setup": "Why was the JavaScript developer sad?",
"punchline": "He didn't know how to null his feelings."
"type": "programming",
"setup": "Why was the JavaScript developer sad?",
"punchline": "He didn't know how to null his feelings."
},
{
"type": "general",
Expand Down Expand Up @@ -2253,5 +2253,330 @@
"type": "general",
"setup": "What do you call a thieving alligator?",
"punchline": "A crookodile!"
},
{
"type": "dad",
"setup": "Two fish are in a tank. One turns to the other and says,",
"punchline": "Any idea how to drive this thing?"
},
{
"type": "dad",
"setup": "What has five toes and isn't your foot?",
"punchline": "My foot."
},
{
"type": "dad",
"setup": "I don't tell dad jokes that often.",
"punchline": "But when I do, he usually laughs."
},
{
"type": "dad",
"setup": "What’s the best way to get to the hospital after breaking your foot?",
"punchline": "With a tow truck."
},
{
"type": "dad",
"setup": "Why does a chicken coop only have two doors?",
"punchline": "Because if it had four, it would be a sedan."
},
{
"type": "dad",
"setup": "What did the pirate say on his birthday?",
"punchline": "Aye, matey!"
},
{
"type": "dad",
"setup": "I was going to tell a sodium joke,",
"punchline": "then I thought, 'Na.'"
},
{
"type": "dad",
"setup": "What's a witch's favorite subject in school?",
"punchline": "Spelling."
},
{
"type": "dad",
"setup": "Why are frogs good at baseball?",
"punchline": "They know how to catch fly balls."
},
{
"type": "dad",
"setup": "What's the easiest building to lift?",
"punchline": "A lighthouse."
},
{
"type": "dad",
"setup": "Why do sweaters tend to hang out together?",
"punchline": "They're pretty close-knit."
},
{
"type": "dad",
"setup": "Why did the zombie take a nap?",
"punchline": "He was dead tired."
},
{
"type": "dad",
"setup": "Did you hear about the archeologist that got fired?",
"punchline": "Now his career is in ruins."
},
{
"type": "dad",
"setup": "What did the buffalo say to her son on the first day of school?",
"punchline": "Bison."
},
{
"type": "dad",
"setup": "Why do ducks have feathers on their tails?",
"punchline": "To hide their butt-quacks."
},
{
"type": "dad",
"setup": "Why shouldn't you tell secrets in a cornfield?",
"punchline": "There are too many ears all around."
},
{
"type": "dad",
"setup": "What kind of underpants do lawyers wear?",
"punchline": "Briefs."
},
{
"type": "dad",
"setup": "What do you call it when a cow grows facial hair?",
"punchline": "A moo-stache."
},
{
"type": "dad",
"setup": "Did you hear about the two rowboats that got into an argument?",
"punchline": "It was an oar-deal."
},
{
"type": "dad",
"setup": "Did you hear about the cleaners who went to space?",
"punchline": "They ended up scrubbing the mission."
},
{
"type": "dad",
"setup": "What did the beach say when the tide came in?",
"punchline": "Long time no sea."
},
{
"type": "dad",
"setup": "Why do turkeys play percussion?",
"punchline": "They have drumsticks."
},
{
"type": "dad",
"setup": "There are only two things I don't eat for breakfast:",
"punchline": "Lunch and dinner."
},
{
"type": "dad",
"setup": "I adopted a dog from a blacksmith.",
"punchline": "As soon as I brought him home, he made a bolt for the door."
},
{
"type": "dad",
"setup": "How much does it cost to swim with sharks?",
"punchline": "An arm and a leg."
},
{
"type": "dad",
"setup": "What did one toilet say to the other?",
"punchline": "You appear a bit flushed."
},
{
"type": "dad",
"setup": "Why are most people tired on April 1?",
"punchline": "They've just finished a 31-day March."
},
{
"type": "dad",
"setup": "How do you make a tissue dance?",
"punchline": "Put a little boogie in it."
},
{
"type": "dad",
"setup": "Why did the rabbit go to the salon?",
"punchline": "It was having a bad hare day."
},
{
"type": "dad",
"setup": "Where do birds stay when they travel?",
"punchline": "Someplace cheep."
},
{
"type": "dad",
"setup": "I enjoy telling bad puns.",
"punchline": "That's just how eye roll."
},
{
"type": "dad",
"setup": "What should you do if your puppy isn't feeling well?",
"punchline": "Take him to the dog-tor."
},
{
"type": "dad",
"setup": "Why can't leopards play hide-and-seek?",
"punchline": "Because they're always spotted."
},
{
"type": "dad",
"setup": "What kind of felines can bowl?",
"punchline": "Alley cats."
},
{
"type": "dad",
"setup": "Why did the man bring his watch to the bank?",
"punchline": "He wanted to save time."
},
{
"type": "dad",
"setup": "Where do penguins go to vote?",
"punchline": "The North Poll."
},
{
"type": "dad",
"setup": "How do you make a robot angry?",
"punchline": "Keep pushing his buttons."
},
{
"type": "dad",
"setup": "What's the best way to make a bandstand?",
"punchline": "Take away their chairs."
},
{
"type": "dad",
"setup": "How do you light up a sports stadium?",
"punchline": "With a soccer match."
},
{
"type": "dad",
"setup": "Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?",
"punchline": "They woke him up."
},
{
"type": "dad",
"setup": "Why did the cow go to Hollywood?",
"punchline": "To be in the moo-vies."
},
{
"type": "dad",
"setup": "Did you hear about the cat that ate a lemon?",
"punchline": "Now it’s a sour puss."
},
{
"type": "dad",
"setup": "How do mice floss their teeth?",
"punchline": "With string cheese."
},
{
"type": "dad",
"setup": "What do you call a happy cowboy?",
"punchline": "A jolly rancher."
},
{
"type": "dad",
"setup": "What did one wall say to the other?",
"punchline": "I’ll meet you at the corner."
},
{
"type": "dad",
"setup": "I told my wife she should embrace the heat wave.",
"punchline": "Now she’s hugging the fan!"
},
{
"type": "dad",
"setup": "Why don’t dolphins play beach volleyball?",
"punchline": "Because they’re afraid of the net."
},
{
"type": "dad",
"setup": "Why did the ice cream truck break during the heat wave?",
"punchline": "It had a meltdown!"
},
{
"type": "dad",
"setup": "Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants?",
"punchline": "In case he got a hole in one!"
},
{
"type": "dad",
"setup": "How do you make holy water during a heat wave?",
"punchline": "You boil the hell out of it!"
},
{
"type": "dad",
"setup": "How do you keep a cow cool during a heat wave?",
"punchline": "You give it plenty of 'mooooooo'-sture!"
},
{
"type": "dad",
"setup": "Why did the lifeguard kick the elephants off the beach?",
"punchline": "They kept dropping their trunks!"
},
{
"type": "dad",
"setup": "Why did the tomato turn red during the heat wave?",
"punchline": "Because it saw the salad dressing!"
},
{
"type": "dad",
"setup": "Why did the sun go to school?",
"punchline": "To get brighter during the summer break!"
},
{
"type": "dad",
"setup": "What did one ocean say to the other ocean?",
"punchline": "Nothing, they just waved!"
},
{
"type": "dad",
"setup": "How does a penguin build its house during the summer?",
"punchline": "Igloos it together!"
},
{
"type": "dad",
"setup": "How do you stay cool at a baseball game?",
"punchline": "You stand next to the fans!"
},
{
"type": "dad",
"setup": "What did the beach say as the high tide?",
"punchline": "Long time no sea!"
},
{
"type": "dad",
"setup": "Why did the sand blush at the beach?",
"punchline": "Because the seaweed!"
},
{
"type": "dad",
"setup": "How does the octopus go to the beach?",
"punchline": "Well-armed!"
},
{
"type": "dad",
"setup": "What did one tide pool say to the other tide pool?",
"punchline": "Show me your mussels!"
},
{
"type": "dad",
"setup": "How does an ocean hide their assets?",
"punchline": "With a shell corporation."
},
{
"type": "dad",
"setup": "Why did the sailor always bring a pencil?",
"punchline": "In case he has to draw the anchor!"
},
{
"type": "dad",
"setup": "Why did the sailboat break up with the rowboat?",
"punchline": "They were too oar-dinary."
},
{
"type": "dad",
"setup": "How do sharks stay calm at the beach?",
"punchline": "They just go with the flow."
}
]